Say Anything… Deleted Scenes – Dinner Party (Original Version)

INT.  COURT LIVING ROOM – LATER

Dinner is over and everyone is satisfied. Present at the small party is Ruth the Administrator and her twelve-year-son Rod, Al Kerwin the Accountant and his elegant wife, along with several others from the nursing home staff. Court pours sparkling water into various glasses — glug glug — as he talks. He’s feeling good, King of the Castle. In the corner, a vintage jukebox plays “If I Were A Carpenter”.

RUTH

You just look beautiful, Diane.

DIANE

Thank you.

Court bends down, puts his face near Diane’s.

COURT

Same eyes. Same nose. Same mouth.
See what a few millimeters can do?

Laughs.

KERWIN

So what airline do they send you over to England on?

DIANE

British Airways.

COURT

She’s not the world’s greatest
flyer. When she was eight . . .

DIANE

Dad . . .

COURT

Why can’t I tell the story?

RUTH

What story?

DIANE

If you’re going to tell it, let me tell it.

COURT

Let me start it. I’m flying down
to Los Angeles on business, and I
decide to take her on her first
airplane.

DIANE

I knew how planes flew, but I was
still nervous.

COURT

Crash Paranoia.

DIANE

I had a checklist in my mind. I
thought that if babies were on the
plane, it couldn’t crash. But all
the babies were crying, so maybe
they knew something I didn’t . . .

COURT

And as soon as the doors shut, she
started to scream. I’d never heard
her scream quite like that.

DIANE

Then you got up and told them to turn the plane around and . . .

COURT

They did. Let me finish.

DIANE

Okay. I give up. Tell it.

COURT

Two federal marshals met the plane,
took our address and asked us never
to fly the friendly skies again.

Laughs.

DIANE

There’s more!

COURT

One of the people on the plane
worked in a recording studio, and
we got the phone call saying that he
was making a sound effects record
and he’d gotten our address and
could he come over and record her
scream . . . which he did. And every
once in a while, on a commercial,
you can hear her scream . . .

KERWIN

You still have crash paranoia?

DIANE

(understatement)
Yes.

Everyone cracks up, and Lloyd still can’t believe the repartee between father and daughter.

LLOYD

You two are amazing, the way you
talk. I’m just like that
with . . . forget it. I’m not like that
with anybody.

A new record plays. It’s James Brown

LLOYD

That is a stellar jukebox, sir.

COURT

Thanks, Lloyd.

LLOYD

Who do you obtain one of those?

COURT

What did we get the Wurlitzer for?
That guy didn’t want to part with
it.

KERWIN

A little matter of
nine-thousand-nine-hundred
ninety-nine dollars.

COURT

And ninety-nine cents.

He and Kerwin laugh. Lloyd laughs along, sneaks a look at Diane that says: “I’ll laugh at anything”. She loves their private exchange.

COURT

(Darin-style)
‘If I were a Carpenter . . . ‘

ROD

So guy — you graduated Lakeside
right?

Lloyd nods.

ROD

What are you going to do now?

This is Lloyd’s least-favorite question.

COURT

Yes Lloyd — what are your plans
for the future?

LLOYD

(pure honesty)
To spend as much time with your
daughter as possible before she
leaves.

COURT

Seriously, Lloyd.

LLOYD

I am totally and completely serious.

More laughs.

ANGLE ON KERWIN AND HIS WIFE who share a look. This kid has it bad.

LLOYD

My sister says it’s era of The
two D’s — drugs and disease. She’s
like this. And I told her — hye,
I’m not going to have a problem with
the Two D’s.
(pause)
My only problem is going to be
getting Diane to marry me. the
Third D.

ANGLE ON RUTH AND HER HUSBAND who share a look.

ANGLE ON COURT who looks at Lloyd strangely.

ANGLE ON DIANE who wants to crawl under a rock.

ANGLE ON LLOYD who now sees Diane is embarrassed.

LLOYD

Seriously, my father wants me to
join the Army, which I feel is the
wrong choice for me personally.

Mrs. Kerwin coolly takes out a cigarette, lights it.

MRS. KERWIN

Mind if I smoke?

Court points outside.

MRS. KERWIN

Seriously?

COURT

Seriously. I like my friends to
stay healthy.. I see what it does
to people.

Mrs. Kerwin exhales sharply. Lloyd is anxious to get out.

LLOYD

I’ll go out on the porch with you,
ma’am.

Lloyd gets up and follows her. Court looks at Diane. Diane avoids the look.

EXT. PORCH – NIGHT

It’s a cold night. Mrs. Kerwin smokes, sits on the porch. Lloyd smokes too. She exhales. He exhales.

LLOYD

What do you think, am I talking too
much in there?

Smoke hangs in the night air. Mrs. Kerwin doesn’t answer

LLOYD

I know. He pissed you off . . .

A grey sedan pulls into the driveway. Mrs. Kerwin may or may not be listening to Lloyd.

LLOYD

. . . but he’s a good guy.

MRS KERWIN

(turning to Lloyd)
How do you know?

LLOYD

I just do.

MRS. KERWIN

You don’t know him. You can’t tell
about people from appearances. For
all I know, you could like little
boys.

Lloyd turns slowly.

LLOYD

You know, that is a pretty intense
thing to say.